HARRY JEFFERSON ON LOVE, LIFE, AND BUSINESS IN POLAND

In this inspiring premiere of "Warsaw Confidential," Kamal Jahid sits down with Harry Jefferson, a beacon of creativity and resilience in the heart of Poland. Harry, a celebrity makeup artist and entrepreneur, shares his captivating journey of relocating to Poland, navigating the intricacies of love in a foreign land, and carving out a niche for himself in the bustling Polish business landscape.

IN THIS EPISODE:

🇵🇱 Embracing Poland: Harry delves into his initial impressions of Poland, the warmth of its people, and how the nation’s rich culture and opportunities encouraged him to call it home.
   
🇵🇱 The Pursuit of Love: With honesty and humor, Harry recounts his experiences with love and relationships in Poland, offering insights into how cultural differences can both challenge and enrich personal connections.
   
🇵🇱 Entrepreneurial Spirit: From launching a beauty startup catered to Polish women to establishing himself as a sought-after makeup artist, Harry shares the lessons learned, the hurdles overcome, and the triumphs celebrated in the Polish business world.

This episode is a heartfelt exploration of personal and professional growth, cultural adaptation, and the universal quest for love and success.
Harry’s story is a testament to the power of authenticity, hard work, and the courage to pursue one’s dreams, even in uncharted territories.

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Transcript

KAMAL: [00:00:00] Racism is a global issue, right? We know that, unfortunately, so my question is, have you faced or encountered some racist incident and how did you handle that? Do you have any stories to share? Yeah. We know that show business is art. There's a lot of backstabbing and stuff. 

HARRY: Cause you think about it, like in your time or life, it's currency.

So your time, your emotional energy, everything is like, let's say a hundred dollars. You can't give a hundred dollars to a thousand people. So that's what I really learned how to do before. I wanted to be loved by everyone. And now I don't care. Now I just care about, uh, Having the right relationships and having friendships that are actually like family.

This guy 

KAMAL: that he was like basically a brother to me and one day he just showed up he got into this relationship and then he came to me and he said look we cannot be [00:01:00] friends anymore. 

HARRY: The war in the world especially now what's going on with the political climate in Poland. We're talking a lot of Ukrainians there's a lot of different foreigners and It's, you know, it might be uncomfortable sometimes for them to have people in their space, in their house, as you said.

INTRO LADY: Welcome to the Kamal Jahid show, the podcast. That's all about helping you live your best life. Join host Kamal, a passionate entrepreneur and lifestyle coach, as he shares personal stories and candid conversations with experts and thought leaders on relationships, fashion, and entrepreneurship. So sit back, relax, and join us on this journey of self improvement and discovery.

And now without any further ado, here's your host, Kamal Jahid.

KAMAL: Harry, welcome to the show. Storytelling with Kamal Jahid. A show about love, business, fashion, storytelling. And I know you mastered all this [00:02:00] departments. Um, you and I have been friends for the longest time. We are family. And that's why I'm very honored to have you as my first guests in this show. So you are a celebrity makeup artist slash designer, and you've been living in Poland for 10 years.

So could you tell us how did you end up here and why did you come to Poland, my country? 

HARRY: Why you look very Polish, very Polish. Um, 10 years ago, I came here with my best friend, whose father is a big investor here. Uh, and had like, kind of like a big grocery chain, uh, here and that distributes alcohol, food, et cetera.

And uh, they were looking to start a new business, a beauty kind of like startup, uh, that was specifically designed for Polish women. And, uh, so this was incredible. That's why I came here. But what made me stay were the people, I would say, I fell in love with the country. I fell in love with the people and the friends that I made.

[00:03:00] So that's what kept me here. I 

KAMAL: see. Um, Thank you. You mentioned the makeup specifically for women. So why Polish women? 

HARRY: Well, in Poland, I would say the predominant population is Polish women. I wouldn't know. But I also felt like, um, I mean, we all felt, especially the investor, that there was a big opportunity in general.

10 years ago, there wasn't that many cosmetic options. There was just only a few places like Hedda, Rossman, Uh, Sephora, but not all of the concepts were catered and specifically for the Polish woman. So even foundation shades, they were not able to find their color. They would go more orange or completely, you know, not matching them.

So that was our challenge. 

KAMAL: Interesting. So speaking of challenges, so you've been living here, like you said, for 10 years. Have you come across like some difficult challenges to adapt to the Polish life? As an American, I assume. In Japanese, but you can tell us [00:04:00] about that more later on. Uh, so what are the challenges that you've been facing 

HARRY: living in Poland as a foreign?

I would say the first thing would be like cultural differences, you know, uh, even just something as simple as the first greeting in America. It's like common practice to say like, Hey, how are you? And it's kind of just like a hello. Whereas in Poland, they're very honest. So, yeah. So. It could be that way, but like, if they're in a bad mood, they're gonna tell you it's a bad mood because the bad weather They're gonna be like this weather is bad.

KAMAL: Speaking of which, I've been traveling to the U. S. a couple of years ago, and for the first time, it was like 2012, and when I was entering these shops, and I was like, everybody hated me. Hey, what's up? How are you doing today? I'm like, wow, I must be amazing. Everyone is interested in me. But I find out it's a little bit, I wouldn't say fake, but it's just like common practice.

Plug in trees. Yeah, exactly, and I know what you mean. [00:05:00] So, My next question would be, what would be your top advice to people who want to come and make a living in Poland? 

HARRY: So my biggest advice is choose the right circle, make the right friends, because your friends can become your family. And when you're a foreigner, that's one of the biggest things that you're missing, which is support, structure, family.

Uh, so the friends that you choose become kind of like the family, uh, that you have. And I would say the second thing is don't give up. Like there's going to be cultural differences. It's going to be harder. Uh, it's going to be challenging for you, but that doesn't mean it's not your place. Those challenges just mean that you need to overcome, learn how to adapt and, uh, and learn how to tango, you know?

KAMAL: Okay. So the idea, because you are an entrepreneur, successful entrepreneur, you have established your business here or several businesses. And. So what specifically, what made you [00:06:00] successful here in Poland? What do you think is the reason that you've been enjoying this recent success? Wow. 

HARRY: Um, I think that the first thing is just treat people right.

When you do the right thing with, you know, and take care of people. If you're a real friend and you show up, those friends will be good to you. And I think like my mom always said to me, if you want a good friend, you have to be a good friend. Yeah. So I feel like relationships are the core of any business.

Uh, it's relationship with your client, relationship with your employees. Those relationships will carry you through and will translate into success. 

KAMAL: Interesting. So what are the main differences between, uh, I imagine you were also working in the U S and so what are the differences in adapting in the business culture?

Because I know from my own experience, it is not the same like Moroccan business culture and Polish. It's a different animal. And so for the people, you know, let's imagine that [00:07:00] some people are, they want to come to Poland or they came to Poland that they want to be successful here. We know it's not easy and only few can do it.

So tell 

HARRY: us more about that. I would say the biggest difference between like American business culture, um, and kind of like economic climate versus Poland is the diversity of America. It's much more wide. There's a lot of cultures that cater to, and there's like an English in general as a language too, is much more general and easier to communicate and, uh, kind of finesse, whereas Polish, you know, in terms of business culture and language is very, just like, it's just one, you know?

So the biggest advice for someone moving from a foreign country is to understand the people. Don't just sell to the people, understand the people, make relationship with the people, learn the language, or at least try. Effort is the biggest indicator of interest. And if people see that you're genuinely interested, they're going to be interested back and forth.

I see. 

KAMAL: Interesting. Because from my own experience, [00:08:00] I, it's exactly the same. Um, cause well, it's, it's different, but maybe you felt this way when we're going to come to it, because my next question is quite serious and I hope you're ready for it, and we're going to. So, racism isn't a global issue, right? We know that, unfortunately.

So, my question is, have you faced or encountered some racist incident? And how did you handle that? Do you have any stories to share? 

HARRY: Um, yeah, I have experienced racism before. But, uh, I wouldn't say that it's something like very specific in Poland. Even in America, when you're black, gay, Japanese, whatever, different.

you experience some sort of discrimination and that feeling of alienization. Uh, in Poland, I've had a few stories where people would say, go back to your country, or they would use the word Muzhin, which I know what that means now. Um, and, uh, for me, this, this [00:09:00] just says it's a cry for help. It's like, they don't really know about foreigners and you can't take that personal.

That's their story. That's their problem. So, and what I choose to do about it and how I choose to react is what creates Or solidifies that kind of idea that they have in their head. So I've experienced racism, uh, but my response to it is usually love because I want to counteract this kind of image or whatever that they have against us.

Uh, and kind of like. Be like an energy bender, and bend that back with some light. 

KAMAL: I see, uh, because I myself, I remember my very first story with racism. It kind of mold me to become a better man. So I kind of did what you did. It was like, I took that energy, played with it, tango with it, like you say. And, and I remember, so I'm going to tell this story.

The show is about stories. So. Ah, man. All right. If I cry guys, edit that shit in Photoshop. Uh, so I remember I was living in this [00:10:00] club, Opera. I don't know if you remember the club Opera, the old good days, the memories. And, uh, you know, I had a good time and because I came here alone, I basically didn't have friends in the beginning.

So I was forced to go out, you know, kind of make friends. You know, and I had this tip. I was actually approaching guys, you know, like, hey, man, are you having fun tonight? We start a conversation and so on and so on and then I I saw this girl She was standing there like the most beautiful girl I lied my eyes on, you know, you're like, Oh, see, uh, and so I, um, so I was like, I can't, I know I was working up my confidence for like, probably one hour.

Like, come on, do it. You can do it. You can talk to her. I mean, I'm exaggerating maybe 20 minutes and, uh, but it feels like an hour. Okay. You can do it. You can do it. And I just like said, okay, three, two, one, the rule of three seconds [00:11:00] and boom. Okay. And I went to her and before I opened my mouth, she's like, oops, sorry.

I don't talk to the kebab guys. And wow. And I was like, she never ordered kebab before. And, uh, now we're laughing, but at that time it's like my, well, I had been like frozen, you know? And I just wanted to dig a hole and fucking disappear, you know, inside it, but at the same time. It's like at, you know, when they say before you die, like your, your life flashes between your, you know, before your eyes, So I would see like flashes of like, I don't know, man, it feels very uniquely spiritual.

It's like I traveled in time and then I came back. It was very Weird and unique experience. [00:12:00] Because I don't know, it's like, I saw the future. Then I saw the past and, and then it hit me. I was like, why would she say such thing? Cause I'm definitely, I'm not, you know, I don't have like a, you know, Kebab King, uh, sticker or something.

And then it hit me. I was like, man, it's maybe because of your look, you know, I don't know. And I was just like wearing, I don't know, a t shirt from Zara, like very super basic stuff. I didn't care, I couldn't care less. And I went back home, you know, cried a little bit. I'm kidding. So I was taking a shower and thinking, what made this lady give this comment?

It was definitely my appearance, because I didn't speak, I didn't open my mouth, you know. And it got me thinking. I was like, yo. So, what if we do the reverse effect? Imagine I was wearing this incredible outfit, stylish, because the confidence was there. I, I can guarantee you that and, [00:13:00] and that's what I did.

So the very same day I started Googling around, you know, how to be stylish, how to look good, how to leave a good first impression. I think that's the thing I Googled, how to leave a good first impression. And then it's like your style, your aura, your confidence. And the rest is history. Fashion, fashion is the best introduction.

When I compare the two men, especially after I had proved my style, and I, it's like my world flipped upside down. And people started coming to me. So, and maybe business, like, I got, I launched my first company just because I was going to clubs, I was in suits and I had people approach me coming, Hey man, where did you get this suit?

Where did you buy this pochette? What did you? I was like, okay, I'm building a business. I'm building a company and I did and, and that's why for me, this [00:14:00] racist incident has completely changed my life. And I think it, uh, applies, you know, your advice is, is valid because you know, you take that energy. And you dance with it, and you throw it back, and, uh So I was walking, and I met this girl, and Nah, I'm just kidding.

I didn't meet yours. I've never seen it. But you 

HARRY: reversed it, basically. You basically took that racist perspective or idea that she had, and you proved her wrong by saying, like, This is just an image, but even just on the image I will excel at this. The 

KAMAL: laundry perspective. Exactly. And that brings me to how we met.

So, yeah. My goodness, I remember 

HARRY: when I saw you in The View. Like, this was when I was just figuring out Poland. Like, the whole social theme. And you were over there in the VIP section with your million dollar suit. I was like, who the Who them got? All the girls were around you. You used to look like, like a Moroccan prince.

So I came up to you and I was one of them that asked you, I was like, where'd you get this suit? And you're like, oh, I made it. This [00:15:00] is one of the things I designed. And you did like a whole metamorphosis. You took like the suit, the pochettes and, uh, yeah, that was like one of my favorite suits that I wore.

I would wear it like almost every other weekend. 

INTRO LADY: Ha ha! 

KAMAL: Nah, man, but yeah, but I, you know, I could get away with it because I have the company. Uh, so, um, yeah, but just to close up this topic. So in what way you think Poland could improve its inclusivity and acceptance? What can we do? Oh, because I don't know if you might notice, but it's, Poland has become a little bit, you know, diverse and it's really nice to see, you know, um, The symptom is diversity.

HARRY: You know, I don't think it's something like Poland as a country has to do. I think it's just naturally going to happen. The more people and more foreigners that they're exposed to, it's just going to naturally kind of create, uh, awareness, exposure, and, uh, kind of like visibility, and this is going to permeate into media, into [00:16:00] relationships and stuff like this.

So, uh, I would say it's on the flip side. It's also like on the foreigners as well for us to make and create ourselves. And to kind of present ourselves in the identity that we wish to be understood and accepted as. So it's our responsibility to present ourselves and be our authentic selves, whereas in Poland, it's their country.

So they can, you know, you know, but, uh, uh, it would be nice if, uh, if, uh, it would be, you know, a little more gentler. 

KAMAL: You know, it's funny that you say this because when I came to Poland, I. Um, I did not find any Moroccans and selfishly, I did not want to, because I was here. I really wanted to grow and discover a new culture.

And you know, but the other side of this matter was people here, because I came like the very first time, like in 2008, they did not know much about Morocco. [00:17:00] And I immediately, especially after this racist, you know, incident. I felt this responsibility to be an ambassador, you know, to Morocco, like, Hey guys, we don't sell kebabs.

We don't even eat kebabs in Morocco. It's not our thing. It's more like Middle Eastern thing, um, which is, you know, ironic and funny. And I, I have decided to become that ambassador, you know, and just, you know, tell about the culture. And everything, you know, and I, I enjoyed, I enjoyed this role, you know, nobody pays me, but, but, uh, they bring up and to kill exactly.

And I love it. And that's why I actually launched the other, you know, the, the mechanism brand, which is deals, you know, precisely with the Moroccan heritage and culture. And, um, and yeah, so. I'm very, very happy about that. So my next question would be more about friendship because you and I have been friendship, friendship, friends [00:18:00] for the longest time, brothers, brothers and family, and I have some recent, you know, falling out with friends and, uh, we can get into that later, but how did your friendships and relationships evolve in Poland and how that affected your personal and business 

HARRY: life?

I think, uh, my definition of friendship changed a lot in Poland. One, like I said, Polish people are extremely honest, so it takes a lot more work to gain their trust and to gain their friendship. Um, also over the years, when you start to develop those authentic relationships, you start to kind of like develop your emotional intelligence and self awareness and start to realize what is actually authentically really your friend, who's really cares about you and who is there for the ride, who's there for the success, who's there for the image and who, uh, um, Just really doesn't care about you.

They just want things from you or, you know, so those kinds of things like open your mind up as you kind of like, [00:19:00] uh, develop. And so I would say that that's the biggest change that I've noticed with me. And, uh, my biggest lesson is in order to be a good friend, you have, like, in order to have good friends, you have to be a good friend.

So to those that have been consistent, uh, those are the people I share my loyalty to, those are the people I spend my time with. Those are the people I show up for. Everybody else, I don't have real estate in my mind or heart for anymore. Cause you think about it, like in your time or life, it's currency.

So your time, your emotional energy, everything is like, let's say a hundred dollars. You can't give a hundred dollars to a thousand people. Yeah. You know, and it's better to give like the core people, 20, 50, 30. And really keep and maintain those true authentic relationships. So that's what I really learned how to do before I wanted to be loved by everyone and now I don't care.

Now I just care about, uh, having the right relationships and having friendships that are actually like family. I see. 

KAMAL: So how many friends you would say are like your best friends currently? Because you know, [00:20:00] often people say you cannot count your best friends on you on one hand. Is that true? 

HARRY: I don't think that anybody should have a rule about like the number, because everybody's emotional capacity to love, communicate, everybody's a hundred dollars is a different kind of spread.

Some people may have like 200, you know, depending on their lifestyle, depending on their time. So for me, I would say that like, definitely on my best friend list, it's definitely under 10. Before it was like, you know, like 20, I was like, Oh, that's when best friend, best friend. No, no. Best friend. Like, I need to at least have like one argument with you to understand your conflict management.

True. I need to understand you in the good times and the bad times. I need to understand you when you're in your bad times. I need to understand you when you're in your good times too. When you really understand people in all of those cycles and you're still able to maintain a genuine and fair and balanced friendship, where it's not about like value necessarily from each other, but it's more about do you feel peace?

Do you want to be? Do you care truly about that person? So, that's kind of like [00:21:00] my feeling about friendship here and how it evolved. 

KAMAL: So did you recently like lose some friends or made some new friends? Oh, of course. Can you tell us about that and how it's made you feel and made you stronger? 

HARRY: I think like as a New Yorker, you're used to, um, it's a very transient city.

So you're used to like, when something doesn't like, uh, like work, they're just like, okay, done next 20 other friends for dinner or whatever like this. Uh, but Poland made me kind of develop that skill of really maintaining and keeping real friendships. Uh, and as soon as like they were not authentic or something rose, um, I like to fix, I like to like kind of like, okay, you know, but if it doesn't work, I'm not going to force it.

You know, like it's not always up to you to fix everything. Sometimes if it just naturally breaks and naturally breaks and it's the flow of life. So I prefer to be like water. So if I need to flow, I can flow. If I need to be hard, I need to be hard, but I'm always transparent. You know, and everybody needs water.[00:22:00] 

KAMAL: I'm asking this question because recently for me, I don't know, it's this year or last year, I've been just like one after the other, my friends who are like disappearing for obvious, not obvious reasons, but not so obvious reasons, I would say. And, uh, and I remember this, one of this, so, cause I have a question of that.

So I have this guy that he was like, basically a brother to me. And one day he just showed up, he got into this relationship and then he came to me and he said, look, we cannot be friends anymore. And I was, and I hoped that he would completely like be honest, you know, because I know, you know, this is I've seen the, the background situation.

And I know it's about that relationship and, uh, but what broke my heart is the lies. Like to be, to tell me, [00:23:00] oh, we cannot be friends because of, and I'm not going to say what she said because it's completely ridiculous. At all. You know, and so my problem or my question is, why does it feel that people are not honest these days, especially friends?

It feels like everyone is greedy and everyone is trying to take something, you know, out of you. And when they can't. They just move on, which we analyzed the other day was the case. So what 

HARRY: do you have to say about 

KAMAL: that? 

HARRY: I would say that's not a real friend. That is, I don't want to call it like a vampire or vulture, but there's a difference between colleagues that are there for value from you, versus friends that actually care about you, respect you, and appreciate you.

Those feel different, you know? So no relationship would be able to sweep that foundation. And they would be able to be honest with you. And if they're even scared to tell you the truth, they would give you time or, you know, sometimes the truth can also destroy. Sometimes you do need to be [00:24:00] silent in those moments, you know, to protect something.

So, but to lie takes it to a different level. So, that says that they don't respect you, that says that they don't value the friendship enough, or that they feel like whatever they're going to say is going to break the fantasy or whatever connection that you guys have between each other. And if that's what they esteem your relationship, then that says a lot.

So, Um, for me, it just says that that's not a real friend or that they didn't feel like it's a real friendship or said it's so fragile that they don't want to tests and see, but to test it basically. So that's what I would say. It's not a real friend. 

KAMAL: Well, that's a, yeah, I know. But it's, that's why, because we've talked about it briefly.

It's like navigating the business world. You have to be, you know, surrounded by, you know, friends and family and people who will support you. So how do you. balance that, uh, having working, you know, in the, you know, makeup industry or the [00:25:00] celebrity industry, if we say, which is, uh, what's the word I'm looking for?

Show business. Show business. Thank you. Uh, because we know that show business. There's a lot of backstabbing and stuff. Emphasize on the word show. So, to answer your question, I would say, How to navigate that world? How can one, you know, survive? 

HARRY: So, 

KAMAL: Oprah 

HARRY: Winfrey once said, When someone shows you themself, believe them.

So, whether it's an action, a betrayal, a lie, Whatever that they do, it's a reflection of their character. So if they lie to you, see them for what that is. If they betray you, don't like go analyze why or whatever, like, you know, there's a, there's a reason why this is, and you cannot change them. You can't fix them.

And it's up to you to say, do I accept this? And you accept the love you [00:26:00] think you deserve. You accept the friendships that you think you deserve. You accept the treatment that you think you deserve. So it becomes up to you. So first it's like when they show themselves. See it for what it is. Don't try to make an illusion.

Like, no, that's my brother for 10 years. No, he lied to you. No, he cheated you. No, he whatever betrayed you. And then the second part is, do you accept that? And if you don't, then what do you do about it? So what do I really want and what is the next best move? So usually in my style of friendship, I like to fix things.

I like to talk face to face because in this, you can clear the air. You can really filter, reset, replug the relationship and establish a new level of authenticity. of accountability, of honesty, and if you're able to have that, then you can build, but if you're not and they are slippery, then it's not worth, you know, wasting any more time.

And so I just got really good. I just like, okay. And as Ariana says, thank you for next, thank you for showing me yourself. I'm not wasting my time. 

KAMAL: So where does [00:27:00] forgiveness fit into this narrative? Do you forgive, not forgive? How do you navigate? Because I personally really struggle, because now when I think about all these friends that let me down, I feel like I don't have the capacity to forgive them.

I mean, I can say, yeah, okay, we can shake hands, but they would never get back to the place in my heart where they were, they used to be. You know what I'm trying to say? Like, how do you navigate this fine line between moving on and forgiveness? So for 

HARRY: me, I feel like forgiveness is actually more. For you than it is about them.

They didn't care if they cared, then it would matter for them. So for you, forgiveness is better for you because it will help heal you. It will end that chapter of pain of focus and of giving someone or something real estate in your head that doesn't deserve that space. Um, secondly, forgiveness is also about like letting go.

It's not always necessarily like saying like, [00:28:00] Oh, let's get back and become best friends again. No, it's letting go of the pain. That's letting go of like. Running over those thoughts in your head and instead giving you that freedom to allow this new space to be filled with light or love or passion, something that's constructive for you.

So, um, I think forgiveness is an absolute necessity, but not more for them, more for you. 

KAMAL: Okay. So looking ahead, uh, what are some of your, let's say goals in terms of, you know, uh, business? And even personal wise 

HARRY: goal for business and personal life. Um, I think my goal is like forever trying to find that balance between the work life balance.

KAMAL: Okay. 

HARRY: So, uh, I think my biggest goal is to kind of like, um, balance it where I work enough and be efficient with my time. So I'm not wasting time and just dedicating my life to work. Uh, and also applying enough and scheduling time with intention. For my friends and [00:29:00] also for myself. This was something I didn't do before.

I believe success was just like working, working, working. When you work hard, success will come. Not true. If you don't have time for friendships, if you don't have time for relationships, if you don't have time for yourself, Success will hit you because you won't have time to really be able to embrace it.

You won't have people to share it with or people to support you or you support them with, you know? And also on top of that, you won't be able to appreciate it. If your health deteriorates, if you, You know, so it's not, uh, uh, good if you don't balance it. So for me, my biggest goal is balance, finding a balance and making kind of like a good proportional time for myself, you know, my friends and things that I care about.

And, uh, but still, how do you do that 

KAMAL: practically? Like I schedule it, like, how do you manage to have this balance between, you know, working? Cause I know you do a lot of things and I honestly. Wouldn't I mean cannot even fathom the idea of being that you're working on too many things or So how do you do that?

Like, [00:30:00] how do you manage it? It's a question that everyone want to know. 

HARRY: I would say that like one and everybody's different. Like I need it. I have extreme case of ADHD. So I'd love to have a million things going on, but you also have to have self regulation, self time management and, uh, uh, and really be intentional about your time.

So when I look at my time, I look at how much time I'm effective at a certain thing. And in that time, I really get everything done as much as I can within that time. And then like, for example, you have seven days a week. So I'll say like, okay, um, let's say every other day I'll be in the gym. So that's basically four days of the week.

I'll go to the gym. And so to like, kind of like regulate my physical body every day, I'm reading something, so this will feed your mind every day. I'm also listening to some sort of like podcast or whatever, just to give some few tips in there. And once you feed your mind and take care of your body, those are two elements of your life that will give you energy.

That will give you confidence. That will give you. Wisdom, and it'll just give you a new outlook on life. And then [00:31:00] the rest is scheduling time with friends. So a lot of times it's easy just to like work, work, work, work, but you've got to show up to those birthdays. They matter. You've got to schedule those times for your friends.

And once you do, you start to realize like, wow, you actually have a lot more time than you think you did. When you do less, you have the sense that, Oh, I'm so tired. I'm so busy. You're not really. But when you do actually more. You get more done, but you somehow feel like it's a better sense of time and you're happier because you're able to spend with friends, you're healthier, you have more energy, you know?

So for me, it's more about being intentional, about filling up your time and scheduling your time with intention for things that are kind of constructive for you. 

KAMAL: So how do you manage to meet up with this people that you care about? Cause now, uh, I speak for myself at my age, most of the friends I know, you know, they're married, they have kids.

Yeah. It's a nightmare to meet up with these people and we establish, you know, personally, like we did this, um, we call it the master, [00:32:00] uh, mastermind group. And you know, it's this four or five of us and we try to meet like once a month, but it's not, it's not easy. So do you have any tips or 

HARRY: strategies? It's being intentional, like following up with the people that you really want to, and also finding common interests.

So if you understand that they have families and stuff, that means their lifestyle is completely different. And you're going to have to tango and just adjust yourself into this new reality. So, and care about the things that they care about. So if they have a new family, that means their kid is their biggest priority.

So be that uncle, show up and be a part of their new chapter in life. If you really are their friend and you want to grow with them. Um, so I would say like that, like that's one of the biggest things. Um, and being consistent. So like having something regular. So like even us, sometimes we have our business meetings and I, you know, how much I'm working and you stepped up and you helped me out and my business.

And this became like quality time, but also productive time. And it's [00:33:00] constructive. It's something we look back in a little later on in life, just smile upon, you know, so being intentional, understanding the realities that your friends are in and showing up in those spaces. Um, so that you guys can grow together because you've all been like, love it.

KAMAL: Evolve together. Uh, Cause I'm asking this and I see that the topic of our conversation when, you know, orbit around friendship, because I believe that without the friends, and again, maybe I speak, but I think it's the same story, without the friends we've been able to meet and make here in Poland, they made our life way, way easier because I personally felt, you know, accepted in this Polish community, you know, if I may.

And I think without certain people. I don't think it would have been the same experience, so I believe that the advice that I would give, you know, to people who want to come to Poland or, you know, make a living in Poland, is come with an open [00:34:00] mind and open heart, and just, you know, feel the experience, live the experience, and I think that's what made our lives easier here, because they're like, Rick and Vodka.

Yeah, let's go. We're doing shots. Let's go. And I'm like, And I think, um, uh, these little things, you know, they, I, again, I speak for me because that's, I saw the biggest changes in my life when I really started to, to adapt to this, you know, to the culture and just go with the flow. It's like, we're doing this.

Yeah, we're doing this. Uh, you know, And I, cause this is funny, I remember, cause I was, so I came to Poland in 2008 and then I left and went to Germany and I lived there for two years and then I came back again to Poland cause I was not happy there. And I remember I, I applied for a, for a job in Berlin and they, they're like, Oh, we're going to [00:35:00] help you to find you an apartment, everything.

I said, okay, because it's a nightmare to get an apartment in Berlin. And then I remember they put me in this Arabic neighborhood and I was like, yo, 

HARRY: wouldn't try and tell me, 

KAMAL: like, I'm trying to live with the German experience. What am I doing here with the, uh, I mean, it's not, you know, it cannot be racist.

I am, you know, Arabic. So, and, but it just showed how, how, you know, how their vision was completely reversed. It's like, no, I want to live in the most expensive, you know, upscale German, uh, uh, or yeah, German, let's say neighborhood. And I did. And uh, and uh, so, so that's when I decided to come back to Poland, I decided to completely immerse myself in the Polish culture, just like, just, you know, live it.

And I say that because that breaks my heart sometimes. And we will [00:36:00] go back to this ambassador. Lifestyle, um, because when I see, for example, France or maybe Spain or Belgium, and I see some people that are actually born there from, you know, from, uh, from African countries because of the, you know, and they try to just live their, you know, Morocco life in France.

And that's, I found it very stupid, you know, because they're trying to, to force some traditions and, and they, it just doesn't work. And that's one where you have this, you know, Let's say clash of cultures and this thing I didn't see it in porn and that's why I was actually Very happy about that. I mean, I'm full the you know, diversity and everything's but it feels like I see it this way So if you move to another country, it's like you're going to live in a someone's house and I don't think [00:37:00] it's right to bring up your Rules to the house and say hey, this is how we're gonna do things.

I don't know. I'm curious. What do you think about this? Maybe I'm I don't know. I 

HARRY: respectfully disagree I mean, I do agree that when you come to someone's house, you need to respect their rules But I don't think that means that you need to compromise your values your heritage, you know, so like if you're you know Muslim or Christian or Like and that's important to you be your authentic self, but respect others don't impose your ways on other people, you know You So if you want people to accept you, then you need to also accept them and their boundaries and their lifestyle.

So I think that's like how I feel about that. I don't think it's a matter of like, you shouldn't, you know, practice or do the things 

KAMAL: that you're practicing, obviously. But I think it's the, the keyword here is, is respecting the others. And I think that sometimes gets, you know, blurred and lost in translation.

It creates these clashes [00:38:00] and, um, 

HARRY: So that's the idea. So that's actually a very important topic, which we're talking about right now, because actually me and my assistant, we're talking about this the other day. Like some people are like, Oh, all we need is love in the world. And she was like, no, I don't agree with that.

And I loved what she said. Cause it was super smart and brilliant. And she was like, no, what the world needs is respect. Cause like, not everybody has the capacity to love, you know, beyond themselves or whatever, but respect is like a step back in terms of like the level of effort and it's acceptance, it's tolerance.

It's. It's another layer that's less intensive than love. You can't expect everyone to love. Look at all these divorces and relationships and friendships that are breaking up. Respect is a tier and a level down that can, that everyone can live with, you know? So, and I thought that that was quite powerful and that's a revolution that I think that would work everywhere in the world, especially now what's going on with the political climate in Poland.

We took in a lot of Ukrainians. There's a lot of different foreigners. Yeah. It's, you know, it might be [00:39:00] uncomfortable sometimes for them for to have people in their space in their house, as you said, but respect, because there was points in history that you also needed to be accepted in other houses or, you know, needed support.

So it's, it's hard. It's hard when these hard times come up, but the biggest thing that we have is each other. And in order to live with each other, we have to respect each other. And then it's going to be easier to live together. Interesting. I love that. I love that. 

KAMAL: All right. We're going to touch, uh, One last topic because I remember, and this is going to be a tricky question for you.

Uh, so my Moroccan hairdresser, he was, he was actually a hairdresser mainly for women. So he spent his whole life with women, between women, you know, the gossip and all the things.

He became so good in giving advice, you know, because he just like Understands how a woman thinks I'm I'm a little guy You know, I'm going there for my haircut and he's [00:40:00] like this and I one day happened a girl broke my heart I think in high school or something and I was telling I was like, yeah, I'm fucking pissed This girl broke my heart and then he started giving me advice like come out listen this this this And then, these haircuts became the most incredible thing I looked to, you know?

Uh, I was giving it probably like once a month, but his advice was so spot on, so powerful, that I, I was just enjoying. So, now, back to you. You're in the makeup, you know, space, and I guess a lot of women do that makeup. So, I am a guy who's looking for love. I want to meet the woman of my dream. How would you advise me to go about it?

Knowing your knowledge, because I know you're good. You know how they think. [00:41:00] 

HARRY: True. To be honest, when it comes to love, that's a really tricky question because I think that the biggest advice would be your authentic self, be the person you would want to date or seek the values from, you know what I mean? So.

If you want a certain type of woman, just imagine what type of man that that woman needs to be with. So if you want a queen, you got to be a king. And in order to be a king, that's not just telling people what to do and like just having power. Power is responsibility. Power is discipline. Power is influence.

And if you don't exercise that over yourself, you won't be able to be that person for someone else. And you won't attract it. So the better you become, the better you attract. And I would say improve yourself first. Be the man that you wish to be. And that queen will, you will find out, show up. Oh, yes, she will.

KAMAL: All right. Quick follow up question here. Uh, it's like, what do you think the thing that men don't get most about women? [00:42:00] Ooh. In 

HARRY: your opinion, obviously. That's a really good question. I feel like men don't get about women. I feel like men think that women are over emotional and like, you know, but I don't think so.

I think that the biggest thing is that there's a disconnect in communication and there's a, A global change in terms of gender roles that we are, as men are not processing. The definition of masculinity and the role of masculinity in this modern day and world, it's not the same girls don't need men the way that they did before.

Before we were the providers, protectors and all this other stuff. And this was almost like a structure to survive and history of mankind. Now it's different. They don't need it. You know, now it's a new definition of what is partnership? What is our relationship? Who are you? And who am I in this context?

So I think that the biggest thing is that the man needs to understand himself as a man. What does it mean to be a man? Is it, is it the old traditions of being a provider and all of this? Or does it mean being an amazing partner? Because there's some, like, let's say my celebrity clients, a lot of them are, the [00:43:00] females are the stars and that are making all the money and are traveling and running around.

And their partners are people that are support systems for them. Well, that didn't fit the old definition of masculinity. So for me, it's a matter of redefining yourself in the partnership with the right partner. And making that harmonious and balancing it. It's not you being dominant. It's about you being supportive and kind of like yin, yang, matching and fitting together.

And this is where you'll find happiness. Beautiful. I'm going to apply that. Well, 

KAMAL: Ari, thank you so much for being here with us. Any last words, advice, um, for living in Poland or. Somewhere 

HARRY: in the world, I would say, um, and like, not just to men, but I would say the biggest advice to me is be your authentic selves.

You're going to live in a prison if you keep trying to be or fulfill a fantasy for your girl, for your family. Do it for you and really ensure it because that's the best relationship you can have is with yourself. 

KAMAL: All right. Thank you [00:44:00] so much. Um, if our viewers, listeners want to connect with you, where can they do it to know more about your work?

Oh, wow. So actually we're 

HARRY: building both things together. So, uh, pretty soon we're going to be putting live Harry J. Pro, Harry J. Makeup, uh, and harryjefferson. com. Um, you can also find them on Instagram. It's Harry J. Makeup. 

KAMAL: I'm going to put all the info in the show notes and people will be able to connect with you and hopefully we can launch your website very soon.

I have a little party and, uh, yeah. Thank you so much. I'll see you soon, man. Ciao.